Do I Have To Do This?

Tonight I have a "groaning" problem. What I mean is I feel like I want to say what Jesus said to the Father in Matthew 26:39 when He said, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt." Do you ever get that feeling? Sometime even the "cup" that we drink seems too much for our physical bodies. The doctor's office called today and they say my blood counts are too low once again and I have to go in for another transfusion. I just had one a couple of weeks ago. And I wonder, "does it every slow down for just a day or two?"


Jesus fell on His face in the Garden of Gethsemane and asked God to relieve Him of the burden He was to face in the not too distant future. But He, unlike me, did not fail to say to the Heavenly Father, "yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt." I know I have faith and it is a strong faith but will I ever stop thinking of myself long enough to say "yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt" to the Father. He is aware of my plate and nothing escapes His concern for me. I feel His spirit flow through the blood that I "do" have and want to be happy with that.


I look at that verse of scripture and think to myself, how alone Jesus must have felt. And then I compare the support I have with family and loved-ones close by and begin to feel ashamed for the groaning I produce.


However, I believe the verse is here for a reason. It shows us that Jesus was fully man, yet fully God as He fell to His knees before the Father with His most intimate groaning. Sometimes I just want God to reach down and "fix" everything that is wrong with my "tent" but then how will I be able to fulfill the last part of the verse, "yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt?"


There is nobody on this earth who can reach those to whom God has charged me with the opportunity to share His love. So, all I can say at times like these is, "Thank You Father, for allowing me to bring my innermost personal groaning to You and thank You for supplying Your will for my life. I have a "will" from the Father and it is my mission here in this life.


How about you? When you reach the "end of your rope" do you recognize the hand of the Father as He ministers to your needs? Do you recognize that He has a perfect will for you and just waits to see you fulfill it? "Yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt, Father"!


Happy New year and may the blessings of God be yours for 2010.


Dave