Matthew 6:25-27; 31-34 – “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life…whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear..Isn’t life more than food and your body more than clothing?? Look at the birds…they don’t plant or harvest or store food in the barns…For your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to Him than they are??? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life??? So don’t worry about these things sayings “what will we eat?? What will we drink?? What will we wear?? These things dominate the thoughts of UNBELIEVERS. But your heavenly Father already knows ALL YOUR NEEDS. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously and He will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today”
It’s midnight and I can’t sleep…my brain just won’t turn off….there is so much….there’s my little granddaughter, Elle, with yet another ear infection who doesn’t feel good tonight and my daughter, Annie who is so exhausted…there’s my daughter, Amy, who’s in Texas with her back completely out and little “Leo” not feeling well…there’s Dave….and what is the doctor going to say tomorrow…I feel so bad for him…the pain is just unbelievable….there’s my friend, who wrote me tonight to tell me that he and his wife are most likely going through with termination of her third pregnancy…I have pleaded with him for the past week to change his mind and accept this baby as a “gift from God”….but his thinks only of what it’s going to “cost him” and his wife and he doesn’t see how he can do it….I thinking of all of the prayer requests I’ve received over the past two days of people who are so sick….of my dear friend, Leona, who is facing a breast biopsy in less than a week for possible breast cancer…and all the suffering she is already going through…I’m thinking of my friend, Bonnie, who has fallen ill after thyroid surgery, I’m thinking of “Joseph” who I have been praying for who died last night…I’ve been thinking of the Pastor’s family in Oregon who lost their son, Noah, who was in the military, just a few days ago when his plane went down…For Michele as she watches her daughter and granddaughter go through a marital separation…for Vee as she watches her husband deteriorate before her eyes..the man she has loved so long and is the love of her life…and there’s so much more…so much…so much…so many hurting….so many alone….so many needs….and tonight I feel like I’m carrying all of these burdens….and then I thought about the scripture from church the other night.
Of course….I’m worrying about all of these things and God is already finding a way to provide for all of these needs….EVEN for the little precious one whose life may end tomorrow…I just need to be about the Lord’s business….and see His mighty hand work…Oh…my feeble and fleshly mind starts to take control...and sometimes it wins (like tonight !)…but I will claim the promises of God and lean on Him and not on my “own understanding”…..and I’ll probably “fall” tomorrow again…and have to be reminded again…and I’ll flail around trying to do this life on my “own” and that won’t add a single day to my life or fix anything….but I ask God to fill me with the peace that passes all understanding…to truth in His unfailing love…and have the knowledge that HE WILL PROVIDE…It’s only my job to pray…pray…pray….that’s all…and give myself to God and to others around me….to help when I can help..and to just “pray” and be still when I can’t do anything more.
So…I will close for now and try to close my eyes….and thank God for His word…His love…His divine providence….His mighty arms which we can take shelter in ….Oh Lord…Forgive my worry…forgive my anxiety and strife..Lord….we know you are going to care for your children….Touch each one in a mighty way even now.
I love you Lord…and YOU Love me…even when I doubt..even when I fret….even when I “forget” that you are in charge… =)
Your frail servant…humbled before you….Barb
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