"What I Want To Leave"

Last Sunday morning, our Pastor spoke to us about "Finding God" in a 3 part series of "Finding God, Finding Others & Finding Yourself" and it was especially good because he helped me to see something that was a curiosity to me for years. Why is it that I have such a confident faith in God these days? He led us to Ecclesiastes 3:11 and especially the second part of that verse which says..."He has also set eternity in their heart..." and I realized why it is so easy to except the cancer and diabetes, the Liver disease and back problems over the years that have happened to me. God has set my eternity in my heart and I "recognize" it and appreciate it as my fate in life. I look forward to the day when I stand before God. Oh, I know I have a lot of explaining to do, however, my faith has given me the confidence to know that He has already forgiven me and will welcome me with open arms as a loving Father would do.

But as I listened to Pastor's explanation, it made me wonder, since so many of us have meager earthly possessions, what is it that we want to leave behind to those who we cherish the most in life, for memories sake. And God gave me this desire for those who are most important to me and naturally that is my wife, kids and grandkids.

I will start with my youngest daughter, Annie. There is no way to express in words what this young lady has meant to me in my life but I want to leave her something that is not only precious to me but also defines her life. I have a Biblical Commentary called "The Gospel of John" by a well known author that I am fond of by the name of Authur Pink. To explain, Annie is the kind of captivating little girl who requires (no demands) your attention when she is telling you of a situation or story in her life. She is colorful and detailed in her conversation, never leaving out the smallest detail and helping to paint a picture of the event flawlessly. Mr. Pink is that kind of author and is very detailed. This commentary is the one I have had the longest and the one I look to the most when I am looking for answers to tough questions about "Love" which is the theme of "The Gospel of John". So to Annie, eventually, I will leave this precious tool for her to use in the future. It will be precious to her as she and the author will relate so well. She will well remember my love for her each time she picks up this book.

Amy (our middle child) is different and unique in her own way and I will leave to her my most precious book of inspirational stories. The book is called "Six Hours One Friday" and it has changed my life. I have read it at least 7 times and listened to it on CD several more times driving here and there over the years. The book is by another favorite author, Max Lucado, who writes several inspirational stories. Amy's love for not only me, but her entire family is so inspirational that it is only fitting that she have this book of "my favorites" with which to remember me by (by the way, Chapters 7 & 11 are my favorite in all the world). Amy never hangs up the phone and leaves a conversation without pronouncing her love for whoever it is that she is sharing life with. This book will inspire her over the years to love even more and remember my love for her.

For my son, whose name is Bradley, I leave that item in my life that I could never have lived without. I have carried this book around the country for over 30 years now and it is so tattered & torn that there have been times when I have had to carry chapters in my shirt pocket, to keep them from getting lost. I am referring to my bible, the book that has been my most incredible inspiration in life and created in me a faith in God that could NEVER be shaken. It is a book that has told me the most about my Heavenly Father and helped me understand that the end of life is only the beginning of the eternity that "He has placed in our hearts" for a reason. It is all marked up, and some of the notes could not be understood unless I was looking over his shoulder, but when the time come, I will be and he will understand. Brad is a "Man's Man" and he has a very "keen" sense of character when it comes to his family and how to care for them. He will be the man of the house someday and will need the help this book has given me over the years to handle the rest of the family. On the back page of my bible I have pasted in a photograph of my father, and a poem that Brad wrote when he passed away. Precious keepsakes that belong in something this important. On one of the front pages of my bible is a newspaper article about a young Christian woman who was very inspirational in creating a seriousness in my spiritual life and her story is how I wish to be remembered.

And then there is my precious wife, Barb. She has lived with me over 37 years and has seen and been a part of every experience in my life good, bad or indifferent and everyday I can tell that she loves me anyway. She has had to hold up under some of the most difficult emotional situations (especially over the last 3 years) and has done a marvelous job as a wife and mother. I was just a boy when we met and between her and God, they made me into the man I am today. For Barb, the only thing I have to leave her is a little box. In this box, there are little pieces of paper. Each piece of paper starts with "I remember when..." and tells a story of 37 plus years of love, laughter, fear, pain, struggle and freedom that has been the relationship between the two of us. There are good memories and some, not so good memories in this little box, but they all add up to the sum of our relationship which has been a commitment of the HIGHEST LEVEL between us. Over the years we have made some very difficult mistakes but never has there been a time that "being together" was a mistake. God was working at His peak when he brought me to that gas station the day I first laid eyes on my wife. I can remember it as if it were yesterday afternoon. I pulled up on my bike and she was in a car. I saw her and "mouthed" the words "I love you" to her, and yet she was a complete stranger to me. Who could doubt the existence of God after that?

Then there are 4 precious grandchildren that I have; Sarah, David, Elle, and Leo. What I think is important to leave to these kids are "My Kids"! Whatever I have done over the last 37 or so years, whether it has created great joy or massive chaos in our lives, "My Kids" are what my grandchildren need in their lives. They each have wonderful spouses, who are all dedicated to their families and doing "whatever it takes" to see that their family is safe. I have not done anything special to or with my kids over the years except to love them and point them toward God as their Redeemer and Savior for life. I believe that doing that was probably the best I could have done. I know they are all safe and someday we will all be united together as God intended.

As for me, I know that I have an "incurable" cancer that will someday cause me great problems, but I was just telling my son the other night, "I think its gone!" I've read all the facts and been given all the situations related to this cancer, and I am not living in a "fantacy" world, but I choose to think that it has temporarily "left the building". I am dealing with it just fine. I have had more prayer support from people all over the world than anyone in the world deserves and I am so grateful. And I am not planning on leaving this earth anytime soon, however, the sermon our Pastor taught us last Sunday prompted me to make sure that my family business was taken care of and that each one of them received from me, what was most precious to me and most like each of them. So I'm a little sentimental; you are too. You just may not have gotten there yet. It's 4:06AM and here I am writing again. Today is my birthday!

Thanks for your love and prayer support and I look forward to writing more soon.

Dave/Dad/Spouse/Friend/Lover of God