Tonight I Would Like Your Prayers!

I am not positive what is going on with me either emotionally or physically but as a special favor I would request that you pray for me. I have, for the most part, been extremely "up beat" about my prognosis over the last two plus years, with the Lymphoma and other difficulties that go along with it. And now I am experiencing some difficulties that seem to interfere with my everyday life and thought process. I've always felt that there is a "low level" depression that hangs around, even in people like me who accept and are happy with their fate (about God, that is). So there have been days lately that I have not been feeling like a "champion" as I usually do. Possibly more thinking about going into this phase of the cancer may have triggered some emotional uneasiness within my mind. I don't know but I recognize that it is there.

From a Biblical aspect, which is what I always try to achieve, I see Paul in the New Testament pleading with God on at least 3 different occasions to "remove the Thorn from his flesh". Few, if any of us has really grasped the true "Thorn" in Paul's flesh, but we know from reading the account that it is real and his pain is a "high priority" burden, and so we know his only place to discuss its possible future is with God. So after he has pleaded his case before God, then God's response is always "My grace is sufficient for you". Never does God say, I will consider it or perhaps "Look for the suffering to go away in 10 days" or anything like that. God simply leaves Paul with His best option "My grace is sufficient for your needs".

Now, in December I will undergo my final "Maintenance" chemotherapy treatment and after that we'll be in what the doctor refers to as a "wait and see" mode. In other words, there will be no aggressive action taken for my treatment when this chemo session ends but rather they will wait to hear from me when I become symptomatic once again. And naturally, my body doesn't want to go through that again so I say to God, Please God, take this burden from me. Lately my body has felt heavy, and very agitated, trouble with my legs remaining still so I can sleep through the night. That agitation is beginning to affect other parts of the body to the extent that I appear to be having severe agitation throughout my body, especially during the night time hours, when laying down trying to sleep. And quite honestly, all I can hear from God at this point is, "My grace is sufficient for your needs". I am very strong on faith and an extremely weak person when it comes to my physical needs. So tonight, I just want to ask you to pray. Pray sincerely that (because I already know God's answer) my physical strength and ability will "step up to the plate" and help me endure this difficulty with as little "blubbering" as possible. Pray that as I recognize the physical weariness from the disease, at that moment God will place someone Else's need in my mind and cause me to lift them up in prayer so that I am not thinking of my self. I am no hero here on this earth. I have never saved a child from a burning building or rescued a drowning victim just in the nick of time. I'm just the kind of Christian Man who wants to be called "A Man After God's Own Heart"

You see, from the beginning of my diagnosis, I have been aware that I cannot get through this on my own. I require faithful people like yourselves in serious prayer for my challenge (and BTW, anyone who does not realize this, these challenges take there toll on our relationships at home as well so please pray for my wife Barb). And by the way, there are others out there that need you just as bad.

God's Best Tonight,